or - “Writing Characters in Established Relationships”
The majority of time, when relationships are prominent in fiction, they cover the beginnings of relationships - how couples get together. First meetings and the difficulties that people face in getting to know each other and falling in love. And there’s definitely something magical and special and lovely about that.
But there’s something just as special and lovely about couples who have been together for a while - who have already had the time to get to know each other and grow together. Which is why I love it when stories open with characters who are already in established relationships. I think it goes without saying, though, that there are special challenges that come with writing characters who are already in established relationships.
First things first - I think anybody writing a couple in an established relationship needs to realize that there is always going to be a history there. And just like you can’t infodump with the worldbuilding of a story, you can’t infodump with a couple and tell the reader everything there is to know about how they got together, and what they’ve been through. So that leads me to one of my first major points.
Reveal backstory through interaction. One of my favorite couples is Tess and Joel from Naughty Dog’s “The Last of Us.” Though they were never officially confirmed as a couple, it was pretty obvious that they were together romantically in some sense. And really, it was the fact that it was never made explicit that makes them such a good example for this point.
Apart from a few lines of dialogue and the fact that they’re working together on a mission to retrieve stolen weapons, there isn’t much to tell you that they’re “together” - not even body language. (There’s not the chance for that sort of thing). What we do see is that they’ve had a hard life together. That they’re partners in criminal activity. That they’ve been together for several years. And we know that they’re both hard people.
So how can you do the same? As a writer, you can reveal your characters’ backstory in the same way through your characters’ shared experiences. Remember that they’ve lived a life together by this point, so use that to your advantage. When the chance arises, have them remember some little detail that gives you the opportunity to bring up something from their past.
How are couples who have been together for a while different from “established” couples? Hoo boy. This is actually a tricky question to answer because, well, every couple is different. But as I already said, remember that any couple who has been together for a while has had the chance to get to know each other - has had the chance to merge their lives and established patterns, routines, and a sense of domesticity.
Showing your reader the way that your characters live can help give them a sense of who they are together - who they are as a couple. To give you another video game example, there are some great scenes in “Uncharted 4″ where we get to see Nate and Elena in their home, living their lives together. It’s awesome because in the earlier games we are getting to see the beginning of their relationship, and now we’re seeing them as a couple who have been together for a while.
Honestly, these details aren’t boring to readers if you present them in a way that isn’t boring. (I know, easier said than done…) But showing your reader just a little bit of insight into the way that your characters live is a great way to invite readers in.
Romances with established couples honestly shouldn’t be as rare as they are. They’re a great way of inviting readers into the “ever after” part of the Happily Ever After. And even if it’s not all bliss, it’s interesting and dynamic and can make for great storytelling, no matter the genre that you decide to insert it into.
Stop writing men as if modern Western toxic masculinity were the default throughout time and space.
Your medieval knights can share a pallet at night because it’s cold in this castle and they’re demonstrating their respect and affection for each other by sharing physical proximity.
In the far future, your dude can be a scientist adventurer robot captain, but he can also make food for people to demonstrate his affection and dance to show off his happiness.
Many cultures alive today expect the average man to be good with children, to be able to diaper a baby, to know how to assist in childbirth. Your men don’t have to go, “Oh god, an infant, I’ve never touched one of those before.”
Before modern Europe, there was nothing unmanly about loving colour, fashion, art, and decoration. Flowers weren’t always emasculating. Emotions weren’t always considered signs of weakness. Men got to want and have warm, close, affectionate friendships with other men.
In many ways, Western toxic masculinity of the last few centuries has been the exception, not the rule.
writing advice: never italicize words to show emphasis! if you’re writing well then the reader will know and you don’t need them!
me: oh really??? listen up, pal, you can just try an pull italics from my cold, dead fingers
“I never said she stole my money.”
VS.
“I never said she stole my money.”
“I never said she stole my money.”
“I never said she stole my money.”
“I never said she stole my money.”
“I never said she stole my money.”
“I never said she stole my money.”
“I never said she stole my money.”
It’s especially funny how every single one of those sentences has a completely different meaning. Besides, one shouldn’t make such generalized, idiotic statements as “never use italics,” especially not to writers. A unique style is one of the most crucial elements of writing, and use of italics is a good way to differentiate your writing from others’.
You cannot take my slanty letters away from me.
Touch my italics and I swear by my pretty floral bonnet I will end you
when u know the way ur dad acts is because of his own unresolved issues/trauma but at the same time u know u dont deserve to be treated the way ur being treated but u cant do anything abt it
As a writer of fiction part of your duty and obligation is to write characters who are not you. Write them well, write them with respect and interest. And don’t listen to anyone who tells you you aren’t allowed to write people who aren’t you. You are.
are those two dudes from supernatural ok? it’s been like 14 years. there’s high schoolers younger than their contract. i don’t think i’ve ever seen them in any other shows. are they allowed to leave? do they feed them?
